FRONNIE DOES CHINA: The Hoon Museum

When I first heard that Shanghai had a Tobacco museum, I figured it was gonna be a single dusty room next to a Tobacco factory with a couple plaques that gave a quick overview of China’s tobacco industry. Welp, that assumption couldn’t have been further from the truth because we showed up to a find a massive three story fortress that rivaled New York’s Natural History museum. It was breathtaking. There was even a stone carving on the outside wall that depicted people literally cranking out Hoons, although in this case the hoons were Doves, symbolizing their peace-bringing capabilities.

Once inside the magic didn’t stop. Just exhibit after exhibit on fascinating history of Hoons, from pre-historic times

to the heyday of communism

all the way up to modern times.

One of the biggest take-aways I got from the museum was that the Chinese have been squatting on things designed for sitting for WAY longer than I expected. I honestly assumed the #HoonSquat was a product of the modern-era but it looks like that Hoon Hole goes WAY deeper.

And just to clarify, we didn’t plant that 10 year old kid in the museum to make an easy joke. He was really there with his parents just soaking up Hoon Facts. Lucky bastard. When I was his age I was at the Museum of Science watching some boring-ass IMAX about Mount Everest.

But BY FAR, the highlight of my trip there was learning that there is actually a society known as “Guardians of the Golden Leaves.” If you’ve noticed, I rarely smile or laugh in my videos but I actually lost my shit when I read that (We’ll release the outtakes at some point). It was a textbook case of the truth being stranger than fiction. Absolutely incredible. I would do unspeakable things for a membership. It’s pretty much the Avengers of Hoon Crankers.

Funny thing is that when we tried to enter the Gift shop/Hoon Lounge on the way out some lady came down the hall and was like “Why are you guys here? The museum is actually closed today.”  Uhhh, then why did the security guards let us in and why is there a 10 year old in your “Minors” hall?? #WhoaThatsWeird. In the end it didn’t matter as we just ended up turning one of the exhibits into a hoon lounge, what else is a tobacco museum for.

P.S. I’ll be putting out a Hoon Crankin’ shirt at some point this week in honor of #HoonHistory month so be on the look-out.