Browns Makes Playoffs Thanks To Steven Cheah's Socks Beating Frank The Tank's Towel
What a headline, right?
First off: THE BROWNS MADE THE FUCKING PLAYOFFS.
Spare me your "they're going to get killed" replies. The Browns haven't made the Playoffs in 18 YEARS, I am happy as can be right now, and all fans should cherish this moment. Sure, they might get destroyed by the Steelers next week. But they also might play the Sunday game, get ALL of their secondary back (including Denzel Ward), along with their linebackers, and possibly have an actual week of practices. Never say never in the NFL, and I am more than okay with ignoring all of the negativity.
Again, let me repeat myself: THE BROWNS MADE THE PLAYOFFS. They were 0-16 a few years ago! It's time to celebrate and be happy for a little bit.
As for the headline, Steven Cheah bought me some Cleveland Browns socks a few weeks back. He told me they'd bring good luck to the Browns, and he wasn't going to let that go...
…honestly, the socks are fucking HUGE. I didn't want to put them on. They were long enough to cover the entire length of my legs and thighs. But then things turned South for the Browns…
…so I finally put them on with a 10-9 Browns lead…
…and they proceeded to score quickly, force a turnover, score again, and then make the Playoffs (there was some shitty defense in between). The socks also had to fend off the Terrible Towels being waved by Dolphins fans Frank the Tank & Brandon Walker, who only realized that Miami got into the Playoffs during the fucking fourth quarter.
In the end, though, the socks beat the towels…
…and Steven Cheah remains a legend. I will make sure to pull for the Bucs next week.
What a weekend, what a fun season, the Browns are in the fucking Playoffs. I am so happy.
(SIDE NOTE: Maybe it was the lack of practices, but Stefanski really ran a mostly-vanilla offense today, barely using Nick Chubb, it was odd… whatever, they won)