Tommy's Thursday Thoughts: Vol. 59 - Coronavirus But Also Other Stuff

-There’s nothing like the thrill of a perfectly timed food delivery. Maybe get it so I have exactly enough time to walk home, take a shower, get into my lounge clothes, turn on Jeopardy, and then have my doorbell ring. It’s like piecing a puzzle together. 

-I now feel like every time I’m in the bathroom with someone, it’s an unofficial contest to see who will wash their hands for longer. I always win. 

-I’d love to update my 3-year-old Facebook profile picture, but I don’t want people seeing the post that I updated my profile picture and have them thinking I’m some loser who still uses Facebook. Facebook should have an option that lets you discretely update your profile pictures with nobody noticing. 

-If you have ever unironically used the phrase, “I was born in the wrong generation” then there is a 100% chance that I hate you. 

-Not to be selfish, but I’d love if the loud and annoying construction outside my apartment could wait to start until after I wake up instead of 7 AM. Maybe I can just shoot them a text and say, “Hey guys, I’m awake. Feel free to get to work!” Is that really so much to ask?

-I have absolutely no idea how haircuts work. I get buzzing the sides. But I never understand how cutting the top with a scissor works. They just put seemingly random pieces of hair between their fingers, cut arbitrary amounts, and boom it somehow looks good. Blows my mind. 

-Due to the Corona scare, I find myself using body parts besides my hands to open doors and shit - like my wrists, forearms, elbows, etc. The thinking is I don’t want to get germs on my hands, but I think what I’m doing is actually worse. At least when I use my hands, I can just wash them soon after. But I won’t be washing my forearms and shit until my next shower, giving plenty of time for those germs to live and spread. So back to using my hands it is. 

-I would love to become a hat guy, but it’s way too late. I’m jealous of people who can just throw a hat on every day and look cool. Not me. (Please see video for demonstration)

-A lot of people are saying to just continue living your normal life despite the Coronavirus and to not live in fear. Not me. I'm pretty much at the point where I'm constantly living in fear. I'm washing my hands nonstop, stopped going to the gym, I'm calling out everyone who sneezes/coughs. But I draw the line at laundry. I can know there's a 97% chance that the lady at my wash & fold has it, and I'm still going there. I refuse to do my own laundry. 

Thank you for your time