I've Never Seen A Drunker Masshole Win An Argument So Thoroughly

28-3 is no longer the greatest comeback in Boston history. This drunk chick at Lee Chen’s never stood a chance here. She was legless. She wasn’t making any sense. She was calling people very clearly with hair bald. It was a bloodbath. And then, out of nowhere, the drunk dude brought up Albany – something I still very much don’t understand – and opened up the door for a miraculous comeback these eyes have never witness.

“WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN’ ABOUT?! YOU’RE FROM FUCKIN’ DEDHAM DUDE! I PICK YOU OFF THE FUCKIN’ SCAB OF MY BACK, YOU DIRTY PIECE OF GARBAGE! LOOK AT YOU!”

I know people from Dedham are going to be upset when someone from Norwood eventually reads this blog to them, but I legitimately cannot think of anything worse than being accused of being from Dedham. The high point in Dedham history was when the Dedham Mall was referenced in THE DEPARTED. Dedham is close enough to Boston to essentially be Hyde Park but just outside of the city limits so they can’t even claim to be Boston. They’re also too poor to be the Westwoods of the world. Dedham is no man’s land. It’s where dreams go to die and oxys go to flourish. I’m surprised the roof didn’t blow off Lee Chen’s Mexican and Chinese emporium when she dropped that bomb on his neck. That place should have looked like Rucker Park after someone’s ankles got broken in half. Sadly everyone was too drunk and perc’d out to realize they had just witnessed a massacre.

This is what I expect every hype video to look like for Rough N Rowdy in Providence. Just incoherent Massholes insulting each other’s towns despite going to the same needle exchange vans.