If You Could Fight One Person To The Death, And You Get To Become Them After You Win, Who Would You Fight?

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You know whats great? When life imitates art and things get all meta. Do you know why I say that? Because my answer for this question might be David Spade. Think about it. You cant pick like, The Rock. Even though it would be amazing to become The Rock, you obviously would lose the fight to the death. So you gotta pick someone who you can kill. Whos a guy thats not enormous, isnt bloodthirsty, that you could maybe take in a fight, but ALSO lives such an awesome existence, its worth risking your life to become him. BAM. David Spade.

A Hollywood tracklist that rivals Derek Jeter. Net worth of 60 million. Hangs out with the best crew of comics and actors you can imagine. Makes a shit ton of money just goofing off with his buddies on movie sets. His life is fucking INCREDIBLE. 5’7, 170 lbs, I’ll meet you in the Octagon, Spade!

Honestly Spade probably has done some fancy LA training at some point and might be able to beat me in which case I’ll go back to my original answer, which is Oprah. Sure, I’d have to go from a 34 year old white man to a 65 year old black woman but I’d be a billionaire. Worth it.

Who ya got?

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