What Happens When A Five Star Man Answers The Internet? The Golden God Glenn Howerton Makes His ATI Debut
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This is Glenn’s second time appearing on our show. And after running it back on the podcast and him agreeing to do Answer The Internet, he’s officially my favorite guest we’ve ever had. I know I say that certain other guests are the “funniest we’ve ever had.” And I know we just had a guy like Dr. Phil who could be considered bigger than my favorite actor from Always Sunny. But I had a moment during his interview on the latest KFC Radio where I realized just how fucking awesome it was that we were sitting down with him. Prior to the interview he mentioned how he noticed when we tweet about him and his show AP Bio, it moves the needle more than any other outlet that talks about him on social media. It fucking blew my mind that Glenn Howerton is sitting at home taking note of what kind of exposure we can provide him. That was a moment for me that I really couldnt believe. When he genuinely opened up about how he doesnt enjoy being a celebrity and struggles with the attention, but admits he’s a bit hypocritical because he wants the success that accompanies fame, I thought it was so deeply honest and interesting, I couldnt believe he was expressing all of that during a conversation with my dumb ass. And the fact that we got to play some exclusive Danny Devito content for him, and we got his live reaction to it…that just completely astounding to me:
But the real icing on the cake was when he stepped up and did Answer The Internet. He was slipping in and out between his real self Glenn and his characters Dennis and Jack, as he answered all this nonsense. He was a good sport, played along, took every question seriously, and delivered what the fans wanted. All as he was about to leave Barstool’s dumpy headquarters to head over to the fucking Tonight Show. Its all surreal to me as a diehard Sunny fan that I’ve been watching him for like, 13 years.
As far as Answer the Internet, boy oh boy did he deliver. Specifically the lead off question about how many 10 year olds he could beat up. Thats an internet classic. Sometimes its phrased as 5th graders. Most often 10 year olds. We added in our own details about weapons, bike helmets, and the setting in which this war takes place…but he went full Dennis Reynolds on this one. Hearing Glenn drop a freestyle “idiots!” on us was like getting Steve Carrell to drop an unironic Thats What She Said in a regular convo. I gasped a little bit hearing his voice get genuinely spiteful. Idiots…IDIOTS!
As for the question itself? Honestly it depends on which 10 year olds. If you give me some chunky midwestern American 10 yr olds like the fat kid from wife swap who liked bacon, I’ll kill them one after another after another no problem. But what if one of the 10 year olds is one of those Russian kids who practice boxing by beating the shit out of a tree trunk? That one ten year old, alone, could probably take me. Even with the bat. Let alone if he had endless back up. So it all depends. But regardless I think after 50 I’d get tired and I’d be mentally and emotionally drained from killing dozens of 5th graders. Glenn doesn’t suffer from murder fatigue apparently. He answered infinity.
PS – how weird was it when Glenn really needed clarification on what a murderer is?