I Have A Bad Feeling Katy Perry Is About To Kill Another Nun

Fox - A nun fighting Katy Perry’s purchase of a former convent is fired up and reaching out to a higher authority — Pope Francis himself — to intervene in the case that has brought the “Roar” singer a rash of negative publicity.

“They’ll have to kill me first if they want to keep me quiet,” Sister Rita Callanan, 80, told Fox News this week,

NOOOOOOOOO, SISTER RITA, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! We all know what happened the last time a nun challenged Katy Perry:

KATY PERRY FUCKING MURDERED HER.

So is this where it’s heading? Will Katy Perry murder every nun in her path?

It gets even dicier, because sweet Sister Rita is asking Pope Francis himself to delegate.

referring to the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Los Angeles, which she said wrongly sold the property to Perry. “I am asking Pope Francis to intercede.”

Callanan and her attorneys hope the pontiff will review the case and speak to the Signatora, the highest court in Rome. “It’s like the U.S. Supreme Court,” according to Callanan.

The nun says the death last month of Sister Catherine Rose Holzman – a close friend and ally in the fight over the sale of their order’s convent on eight acres in the Los Feliz area – has motivated her to stay in the battle, despite urgings by doctors and friends to drop the matter for health reasons.

Little problem, Sister Rita- Katy Perry is the anti-christ. She doesn’t listen to what Pope Francis says. That’d be like recruiting the Jesus to talk to the Devil. It doesn’t work like that.

The letter to Pope Francis, in which Callanan also appeals for a meeting with the pontiff, says the nuns “were promised that we would always be taken care of by the archdiocese and that we would live out the rest of our lives at our convent. After we are all gone, the Archbishop would inherit our property … Archbishop Gomez has broken these promises to us.”

“He tried to sell our convent without our approval to a person whom we do not support. It is the pop star Katy Perry,” the letter reads. “We do not agree with her lifestyle that has strayed far from any faith … At the end of our lives, we find ourselves fighting for justice and for what is right.”

Imagine the god damn POPE stepping in and stopping Katy Perry from getting the convent. Nothing would make me happier than the Pope hating Katy Perry so much that he blocks this. I don’t really know what legal ramifications the Pope has, and I wouldn’t put it past Katy to kill him too, but I’m hoping he does everything in his power to help these Nuns.

It does make me laugh very hard to think about how the old ass nuns are fighting for this place:

Like, what the fuck do the nuns need that place for??? Just go be old nuns somewhere else. You’re nuns! But blocking Katy Perry from living there is so funny, I have to root for them.