Tim Tebow Hit The First Pitch He Saw In Double-A Straight To Heaven

Look at Timmy Tebow going from hitting BINGO numbers during Spring Training to crushing a YABO the first pitch he sees in Double-A. Going from Max Scherzer to *Googles box score of last night’s game* Teddy Stankiewicz must have been like going from playing Alabama in Tuscaloosa on a Saturday night to facing The Citadel in The Swamp at noon. If you can’t get behind Tim Tebow hitting bombs and doing random Tim Tebow things like helping the elderly or healing people, you are the wettest blanket in the world. Or you hate the Gators with all your being. Either or.

Now I’m not going to convince myself that Tebow is going to go Full Tebow and start pulling miracles out of his ass like he did with the Broncos. His 30th birthday spurring a 4-game sweep at the hands of the Yankees and inspiring the Bronx Bomber run to Game 7 of the ALCS killed that dream. But I am just happy that He started the season with a big fly. And did you hear the stadium when He connected with that pitch? It sounded like a fucking Beatle walked off a plane in the 60s. Tim Tebow is currently The Big Holy Rumble Pony and a goddamn rock star in Binghamton. Sure it’s not quite being in The Show or starting at quarterback in the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE. But it’s better than just sitting at home thinking of what could have been as you wait for Spring games to begin in the SEC. If anything, Tebow gets to ride this surprising wave of good juju that the Mets have going right now. I have no idea when it’s all going to end, but I am going to enjoy the fuck out of it while it’s here. All-in, baby. All-in.

P.S. I need a goddamn Rumble Ponies hat because this dude fucks.

#LetsRumble

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