FUCK: Phillies Blow 5-0 Opening Day Lead And Joel Embiid Fractured His Face, Has Concussion, No Timetable To Return, Life Has Little Meaning
NBA – After suffering an injury at the 11:50 mark of 2nd quarter of last night’s game against New York, Joel Embiid was initially evaluated in the locker room and later taken to Jefferson Hospital for further evaluation and testing. Immediately following the injury, Embiid was assessed for a concussion, was asymptomatic at that time, and passed the NBA’s locker room concussion assessment tool. However, he later began experiencing symptoms, has since been diagnosed with a concussion, and has been placed in the NBA’s concussion protocol. Embiid also underwent a CT scan, which revealed an orbital fracture of his left eye. Surgery will be performed in the coming days to address the orbital fracture, and further updates will be provided as appropriate.
What the hell, God. What a shitty, shitty day. The Phillies sharting themselves on Opening Day is one thing, but JoJo shattering his face is a whole other awful reality. Embiid, assuming he passes concussion protocol by then, may only be out 2-4 weeks. Sad, yes, but not put the gun in your mouth and make sure I’m standing behind you when you pull the trigger type of depressing. So we got that kind of going for us, so that’s nice. Then again, I don’t exactly know why Embiid would IG story that out from the hospital if it was this serious. That’s supposed to be a textbook “Pity me but everything is OK” play, not shit is actually really not good move. Not cool, JoJo.
Is there a cure for this sadness? Nope. At least there’s distractions with the likes of alcohol and Fortnite. And we have plenty of both.
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PS – Silver Linings: Gabe Kapler can go suntan his nuts and figure it out while Joel Embiid rocking a mask for the playoffs is how legends and t-shirts are made.
