I'm Naming This Rare White Lion Cub "Sister Jean" Because It Needs God's Help

NAT GEO – On March 5, wildlife guides at the Ngala Private Game Reserve in South Africa stumbled upon an unusual sight—a white lion cub in the wild.

According to Lyle Bruce McCabe, a field guide at the reserve, he was watching a male lion sleeping in the Timbavati river bed when he heard the call of a young cub squeak out of a thicket nearby.

“I moved closer to the bank to investigate, and we saw the small head of a lion cub roll out from its mother’s teat,” says McCabe, who has been guiding at Ngala for two years.

The cub is the first wild white lion that McCabe or his colleague, animal tracker Fanny Mathonsi, have ever seen. And Mathonsi has been working in this area for 26 years.

While not completely unheard of, white lion cubs are uncommon because they can be born only if both parents possess a recessive mutation in a gene that makes colored pigments called melanins. Technically, these animals are considered leucistic, not albino, because they have some pigment in certain areas, such as the eyes. (See pictures of rare white giraffes and other animals.)

“They are exceptionally rare to see fully grown in the wild; however, we think more are born that don’t reach adulthood,” says McCabe.

I don’t want to say anything here that’s gonna rub people off the wrong way (I think that’s the saying) but I’m all in on this white lion cub. What a cool natural development! One time when I was a kid I saw an albino deer and it really fucked with me. Why would God make some animals completely white, unless he thought that it was important for these creatures to exist? I don’t know what that means, but I just think they should be appreciated. Albino people too. I think I went to school with one and he was completely nice. Weird kid, but non-albinos can be weird too so I think that was just a coincidence.

I really hope this cub makes it to adulthood so we can add another full grown white lion to the mix. They say only like 50% of lion cubs survive their first year and I have to imagine that number is even lower for the white ones. It messes up their camouflage and also I’m sure other lions see them and think “WTF” and try to kill them. Instincts are fucking crazy, and lions are known to kill babies they don’t like in order to preemptively defend their seat atop their respective prides. I’m not exactly sure what we can do as people to help this white lion out, but I might have an idea.

I think we need to name this lion “Sister Jean”. Sister Jean is so hot right now that it’s starting to bother me honestly. I tried to take her down with some “slander” but that didn’t work. I’m over it. She has her team in the final four and obviously god is paying attention. It’s the perfect opportunity to use her name and powers for good. By naming this white lion cub “Sister Jean” we can all but ensure its survival. Let’s stroke God’s dick a little and toss up this lob for the alley oop. Let him finish it, and we just might have a pretty cool white lion running around Africa for years to come.