Does This Look Like The Face Of A Man That Attacked The Golden Arches At A McDonald's Because They Wouldn't Make Him 30 Double Cheeseburgers?

Time- Police say a 37-year-old man was far from lovin’ it when workers at a McDonald’s restaurant in Oregon refused to make him 30 double cheeseburgers and tried to destroy the golden arches. The News-Review reports that police arrested Jedediah Ezekiel Fulton on March 16 on suspicion of second-degree disorderly conduct, second-degree criminal trespass, second-degree criminal mischief and harassment.

Authorities say Fulton became upset when the fast food restaurant in the western Oregon town of Sutherlin declined to make his order. Police say he destroyed a banner and then attacked the arches. The Sutherlin Police Department says he also grabbed a person’s shirt and that a witness afraid for that person’s life pulled out a gun.

What the fuck Jeddy Boy? I can call you that, right? Jedediah Ezekiel Fulton sounds wayyyyyy too much like the name of an assassin and that mugshot already has me shook as I write this blog. But anyway, that shit isn’t right Jed. The Golden Arches are pretty much the closest thing to a corporate American flag as it gets. If you see a McDonald’s sign and those beautiful arches in a foreign country, you feel like you are a little closer to home. It’s not quite the majestic sight of Old Glory, but it’s the next best thing. Trashing the golden arches is pretty much like burning the American flag and I guarantee you a guy named Jedediah Ezekiel Fulton loves the hell out of the stars and stripes.

Then again, what kind of McDonald’s says no to that order of 30 double cheeseburgers? Yeah 60 burgers is a shitload of burgers. But a sale is a sale and as that previous paragraph kinda alluded to, McDonald’s is one of the faces of capitalism. Mickey D’s probably moves 60 burgers per minute during a typical lunch rush. You are going to tell the ginger with the chest tattoo that you can’t serve him? Being told you can’t get the McDonald’s order you have been dreaming about all day, no matter how outrageous it is, would drive anybody crazy. Not just those named Jedediah Ezekiel Fulton. Those McDonald’s employees pretty much sentenced those innocent golden arches to death when they politely declined Jed’s order, not to mention that a goddamn gun was pulled because people were terrified of Jed going beast mode. Get your shit together, McDonald’s. You are the face of America. Now act like it.