India's New Anti-Homeless Metal Spikes Seem Like A Great Way To Die On Your Way Home From The Hookah Bar

The police in Mumbai claim that these spikes were meant to prevent homeless people from sleeping. A lot of people are upset, claiming these spikes are over the top. But this is India. A bed of spikes is basically an air-mattress to these people:

You’ll have guys taking turns lying down on these spikes to impress their girlfriends on the way home. Then they’ll place cinder blocks on their stomachs have a friend smash that with a hammer. Then they’ll eat super hot chilis will doing the cinder block smash while lying on the spikes. Pretty soon, it will become the hottest tourist attraction in all of Mumbai. Which is important, because tourism in Mumbai sucks these days.

Apparently London enacted similar measures a while back. Let’s take a look at their spikes:

Useless. That’s a bed of pressure points that will help you relieve tension in your lower back. You sleep on that strip of thimbles and wake up feeling refreshed and limber. What a joke. Classic Western thinking– this is exactly why countries like India are taking jobs from us. They’re willing to roll up their sleeves and get dirty with a strip of death spikes that will not only eradicate the homeless population quicker than a breakout of ebola, it will also pierce the hearts of stumbling drunks. Nothing will teach a city the perils of binge drinking better than a block of skewered alcoholics who stumbled face-first to their death.