"Hey Ian, Give Me A High Five If You're Playing In The Masters"

What a diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick. Fuck that guy forever. As if we needed any more reasons to hate Ian Poulter. I get that golfers can’t high five everyone they walk by during a tournament but that dude was in Poulter’s kitchen. He really couldn’t have been closer. It’s not like Poulter didn’t see the guy. The guy had to move his hand so Poulter didn’t run into it. Maybe don’t be a dick for once in your life Ian and toss the guy a high five. Then again, it’s about time I start respecting what a dick Ian Poulter is. It’s his brand and god damn it does he stick to it. I’d almost be mad if he flipped the script at this point. Imagine if Ian started driving Camrys, flying coach and being nice to everybody? That’s not a world I wanna live in. You know what, Ian? Keep being a dick. You give me something to hate everyday and that’s healthy. And I know he got knocked outta the Masters by my guy Kevin Kisner so it’s all good.