Study Finds That 90% Of Bottled Water Is Contaminated With Plastic That Could Murder You And Your Entire Family!

DW- The first of its kind on a global scale, the research tested bottled water from 11 brands bought at 19 locations in nine countries around the world for microplastics. The contaminant was identified in 93 percent of samples — in sometimes greatly varying quantities.

In a world where, according to forecasts by online statistics portal Statista, we will be drinking 391 billion liters of bottled water in 2017 — up from 288 billion liters in 2012 — the study begs the question: Is consuming such tiny plastic particles safe?

Many of these plastic particles will be too big to penetrate so deeply into our bodies. But if some were small enough to pass through the gut, “there would be concern about physical invasion of tissue and the chemical load associated with the plastics,” Halden told DW.

“Depending on the recipe, you can have some chemicals in plastic that are toxic, and in fact a lot of ‘substances of very high concern (SVHCs)’ are associated with plastic products.”

I’m known around Barstool as the “environment guy.” This persona came to light because Nate works directly in front of me and every day, Nate takes an entire case of Poland Spring water and distributes the bottles to people around the office like a homeless guy at a traffic intersection on a hot day. Except Nate doesn’t ask for money; he’s paid in the satisfaction of knowing the bloggers are properly hydrated. I don’t know exactly why he does this or how it started. But I do know that when I voiced my displeasure over how much plastic we were using, Nate doubled his water distribution. He went from handing out 1 case to 2 cases because once you show Nate that something bothers you, he targets that scab and picks at it until your entire existence is infected by his handiwork. To his credit, this relentlessness is also what makes him a great blogger. It’s an impressive trait to witness when his crusade du jour doesn’t have you in its crosshairs. But I’ve gnawed my fingernails down to the bone during the times when he was needling me. For the record, we are now on good terms. I would even go so far as to call us friends.

Environmentally, Nate claims to have had a change of heart recently due to a baby seahorse. We’ll see if that pans out. But for those of you guzzling multiple bottles of water daily, I draw your attention to this recent study that found that the water in plastic bottles is contaminated with–you guessed it–plastic.

Here’s a useful chart:

Basically, if you’re drinking Nestlé Pure Life, you’re already dead. But I don’t personally know anyone that poor, so most of us should be safe. I’ve also never heard of Bisleri or Aqua. I assume those are the bottled water brands you find in places like India and Afghanistan, where hotels will simply fill up a plastic bottle with tap water and screw the lid on super tight so you think it’s new. These are the brands whose plastic bottles are so thin that simply holding them with a loose grip causes them to collapse like a Toyota Prius colliding with a small dog. Look at this bottle:

You can hear that thing crinkling through the screen. Have fun blowing air through the lid to inflate your pancaked bottle.

I don’t know anything about Gerolsteiner either, but I assume it’s the water that Germany used to waterboard prisoners of war. And then we get into the major players with Aquafina and Dasani. I’m a big Dasani guy. If Poland Spring isn’t available, I’ll take a Dasani in a heartbeat. Meanwhile, Aquafina tastes like a scoop of kiddie pool water in July. No surprise to learn that if you drink a bottle of Aquafina, you’ll be shitting out legos that night.

Lastly, San Pellegrino… staring down its nose at the other peasants, scoffing at their flotsam-filled waters. A water so pretentious that it comes in a green bottle. I don’t even know if they make a still water version of SP. “Oh, you’re flat? I prefer to… sparkle.” -San Pellegrino, probably.

The point is, bottled water is not only bad for the environment, it’s bad for your insides. Maybe. This article is inconclusive. Pretty weak reporting, honestly. Their research is flimsier than a Nestlé Pure Life. But hopefully, it will strike a chord with some of you. I doubt it though.