MUST READ: Lucky Australian Man Convicted For Receiving Oral Sex From Stranger On Train Says ‘Would You Knock It??’

Shane Brennan, 38, said he began speaking to the woman — who he said had a “mad body” — on the platform, where she told him: “I’m horny, will you f*** me?”

The father of three, from Wollongong, south of Sydney, said he agreed to have her perform the sex act on him, news.com.au reported.

But their late-morning liaison was captured on CCTV, and staff were waiting for the pair when the train pulled into Wollongong Railway Station.

Staff reported finding a “large and disgusting” liquid mess on the floor, which they originally thought was urine, but Brennan explained it was Cola that he had used to clean himself up.

He told officers: “I was rinsing my c**k off,” according to the Illawarra Mercury.

Brennan said no one was in the carriage during the 9.56am service, and their tryst was over within minutes.

“How can you be so lucky and unlucky in the one day?” he asked. “You’d think the train guard would’ve said ‘good on ya, mate.’ How many f***ing men would have knocked it back?”

PREBLOG: I’ve been working at Barstool for a few months shy of two years. This is my favorite story that I’ve ever blogged. And honestly, I’m a little worried that I wont do it justice. But, you know what they say, “courage is not the absence of fear but rather moving forward in the face of fear.” We march to the sounds of the guns. Blog time, bitch.

BLOG: That certainly looks like the face of a man who would get a blow job on a train and then clean his cock with a cola. There is several elements of this story that can only be described as audacious.

1. Sitting on the train, being with a woman, and casually telling her that she has a mad body is something that is usually frowned upon in today’s day and age. But, sometimes you strike while the iron is hot.

2. Surely, the iron was hot on this train ride (don’t call me Shirley).

“Stay focused, Chaps!”

Right right. What a response from this woman. I just cant imagine a stranger ever saying to me, “I’m horny; will you fuck me?” Our Australian pal must have been sitting on the train like

Will he fuck her? Of course not. He was values and three sons.

3. He will, however, agree to let her give him a blowjob. What restraint. What a wild move. It’s wild because she was so horny that she just wanted to blow someone. Folks, that’s super horny. She wasn’t even concerned with her own clitoral orgasm. It was enough to just blow him to the moon on the train.

4. What kind of mess did she make? Well, they. What kind of mess did they make together? Did he nut in her mouth and she let the cascade of cum run all over his torso and trousers?

5. Yes. That’s exactly what she did. Otherwise, you don’t rinse your penis off with fucking coke. COKE! Just spilling 20oz of Pepsi on your penis to clean off the cum that was the result of a blowjob that you received after bargaining down from a sexual advance by a woman you met on a train with a mad body.

Good on ya, mate. Good on ya, indeed.

Post Blog Edits: I just noticed the White Pride belly tattoos. This story has so many layers. So many. Goodness gracious.