69-Year-Old Australian Swimmer Fights Off A Great White Shark With Punches

69-year-old Victorian swimmer says he survived a close encounter with a circling “great white” on Saturday – and that his pink swimming shorts and right hook did the trick.

Robert “Robbo” Crossland was taking his usual pier-to-pub swim off Lorne and was 100 metres from shore when he came into contact with the 3.5m shark, suspected to be a great white.

“The first thing I saw was the fin circle around me and then it came straight at me,” Mr Crossland told 7 News

“I punched it, I was treading water, waiting for it each time. Six or seven times I just punched it.

“It swam around and came back and I was waiting for the jaws to open.”

Robert “Robbo” Crossland. What a name for someone who fights off a shark. I bet he did it without a care in the world too. Just takin his afternoon jaunt from pier to pub and needed to take care of business.

Everything about this dude screams cool old man. From being 69 years old to wearing shorty short pink baggies, this dude has his old age by the balls which swing low, swing chariot.

This story got me thinking, what do you think Robbo’s drink of choice is? It’s certainly not a beer. That feels too heavy after a long swim. I bet it’s a bright cocktail. He gets out of the water, rinses off, and orders a tall, cool….

What is it? A margarita? No. That’s too salty. He needs something bright. A gin and tonic? A mojito? I bet he went with The Bugs Bunny cocktail. If you’re not familiar, it’s 1½ ounces vodka, ¾ ounce carrot-thyme cordial,
¼ ounce Iris liqueur, ¼ ounce lemon juice, 1 dash absinthe, Edible flower, for a garnish of course. What a selection by Robbo. He probably orders it with a grin. “Gotta get ma’ veggies, Reggie.”

Reggie, the bartender, laughs and says, “right-o, robbo.”

They dap each other up as Robbo heads to the ole music box.

The music that he plays on the jukebox? Oh. That’s an easy one. Take it away, Bertie.