Somebody Tell The Carolina Panthers To Stay The Friggin Heck Away From Joel Embiid
So I guess some context would be helpful here. It all started when Joel noticed that Fanatics owner Michael Rubin could potentially end up being the next owner of the Carolina Panthers. Rubin is also part of the ownership group for the Sixers so JoJo decided to fire up a friendly little tweet to draw light to that fact.
More or less kind of a “haha wouldn’t that be funny, could you imagine” type of thing. Nothing more nothing less. Then Cameron Newton comes in with his dumb as fuck keyboard and types out some hieroglyphic response to Embiid. How or why he types like that continues to be one of the greatest mysteries in the world. The only thing more difficult to read than Cam’s tweets is Cam trying to read a coverage, if we’re being perfectly honest.
But even Cam’s tweet wasn’t enough to really set me off yet. It was as soon as those shit for brains cowards over at the main Panthers Twitter account photoshopped Embiid into a Panthers jersey that made me want to smash several dozen keyboards over their heads. Then they follow it up with this shit right there?
Listen here because I’m about to take you bitches to school real quick. In no word would Joel Embiid ever want to play for your broke ass organization. Joel Embiid is in the business of one thing and one thing only–and that’s winning rings on rings on rings on rings. Well, maybe he’s also in the business of opening up restaurants that strictly serve chicken fingers and Shirley Temples. But those are the man’s only two businesses. So if Joel Embiid is going the Bo Jackson route and being a dual sport athlete, he’s staying in Philly and playing for the Eagles. Why is that? Well because in case you forgot, the Philadelphia Eagles are Super Bowl champions.
That’s correct. On February 4th, 2018, the Philadelphia Eagles men’s professional football team defeated the New England Patriots 41-33 to win Super Bowl LII. It happened. That is factual information. The Philadelphia Eagles are Super Bowl Champs. Meanwhile, the Panthers lost to the Broncos a few years ago after Cam made a business decision late in the game. Joel Embiid has the most potential injury risk here and he’s still getting out there every damn Sunday. You think he’s gonna want to play for a quarterback who pulls a stunt like that in the Super Bowl to save his own health or you think he’d be better motivated by a quarterback who doesn’t give a fuck about his health as long as it helps his team get the W, like Carson did against the Rams. Now do me and the rest of us a favor, and keep your soft as baby shit stink off of The Process.