A Group Of Former Browns Coaches Reportedly Had A "Fired Browns Coaches Party" In Indianapolis During Combine Week
Even when the Browns have the 1st and 4th pick of a draft that has multiple potential franchise QBs and a superduperstar running back, they still get clowned during the combine. Unnnnnnbelievable. Can you imagine the tales that were told at that table? I imagine it was like the scene in Jaws where Hooper and Quint compare scars.
But instead of scars, they were a bunch of Football Guys reminiscing about which member of the Browns QB jersey which disastrous first round pick was the reason their time ended in Cleveland.
“Shit, I thought I had it bad with Jason Campbell and Barkevious Mingo”
“I raise you with Kelly Holcomb and William Green”
“Jeff Garcia and Kellen Winslow Jr. did me in.”
“I see your Kellen Winslow Jr., who was a soldier after all and I respect the troops, and raise you Trent Richardson AND Brandon Weeden. Both in the first round. In the same motherfucking draft.”
*Gazes out window with single tear in eye*
“Johnny Football. Pre-#ComebackSZN. Enough said.”
I need to know where this dinner took place. Current Browns coaches would probably have it at an Applebees or something with only 2-for-20 specials. But I feel like if you are an ex-Browns coach that survived your bid in Cleveland, you need to do it fancy as fuck. It’s like celebrating a 2nd lease on life after surviving a car crash. You gotta have this dinner in the VIP room of St. Elmo Steak House with nothing but the shrimp cocktail and finest steaks being served. Champagne flowing like Club Dave and Caleb were in the building with “Started From The Bottom” blaring on the speakers.
I also need to know who was at this dinner. The Shurmurnator was probably there because he was in town now that he’s the head coach of the Giants. Texans defensive coordinator Romeo Crennel probably isn’t going to pass up on a chance to have a good meal with friends and casually remind everyone that he went 10-6 with that Derek Anderson and Braylon Edwards team. I can see Kyle Shanahan quietly grinning from ear-to-ear in the corner as he thinks about how quickly he went from calling plays for a QB that was #LostInTheSauce to being Jimmy G’s head coach until the day Jimmy retires. And then Bill Belichick arrives for coffee and dessert while laughing his dick off about how Art Modell sentenced Cleveland to Football Hell almost 25 years ago.
And the craziest shit of all? Every single one of the coaches at this dinner had a significantly better record with the Browns than the current head coach of the Browns has in Cleveland.
Cue the sound bite!!!
UPDATE: Yup, that’s pretty fucking perfect.
h/t Nick