Chelsea Just Had Perhaps The Worst Wheel Of Fortune Performance Of All Time

For a while I’ve noticed people are really bad at Wheel of Fortune. Like, really, really, really bad. Any time I catch it on TV I’ve noticed the contestants have no idea how to play optimally, maximize their winnings, and give themselves the best chance to win. So a couple weeks ago I started tweeting about mistakes people on WoF make. Things like this:

Just completely mindless, terrible WoF plays that anyone who took basic 7th grade math would know is bad.

Then I decided, hey, maybe I’ll start showing just how bad some people play this rather simple game. This was an all-timer:

And this one really annoyed me too:

That one just makes ZERO sense. If you know the answer, picking “P” there is so stupid. Why wouldn’t you pick a letter you know there are 2 of? It’s crazy how mindless people play the game!

Which brings us to tonight.

Chelsea.

She seems like a nice gal. I’m sure she is a wonderful person. But she is TERRIBLE at Wheel of Fortune. Let’s go to the video:

Not only did she hear the girl JUST try to buy an A no fewer than 20 seconds ago, contestants also have an off-camera board that displays all the letters which have been called.

But ok, fine. We all make mistakes. It happens.

So without further ado, let’s roll video number 2:

SHE BOUGHT A VOWEL THAT IS ON THE BOARD! A VOWEL THAT IS LIT UP ON THE GINORMOUS BOARD RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER!

There’s being bad at Wheel of Fortune, and then there’s whatever this is. Maybe she was nervous under the cameras and lights? I don’t even know. I think there’s a strong, and I mean STRONG chance that Chelsea is literally a robot and was programmed to buy those vowels at those exact times. That’s the most reasonable explanation I can come up with. Try to prove to me she’s not a programmed robot, you can’t.

This is why we watch the show though, folks. I just watch it, night after night, in disbelief of how many mistakes people make. Like people who buy 4 vowels in a row for absolutely no reason. I’m told by sources (yeah I have WoF sources, nbd) that the producers encourage the contestants to buy as many vowels as they can. I assume it’s because the more letters on the board, the better it is for TV to get people guessing at home. Buying vowels is usually a bad strategy, but you see people burn money on the show nightly. My only regret is I didn’t start using Twitter for this purpose sooner because god damnit people are so bad at the game and it’s easily the best thing I’ve ever used Twitter for.

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