So Apparently Toad's Mushroom Is A Part Of His Head And Not A Hat

(Source)- Nintendo has offered up disturbing factoids about its many game series in the past, including the truth behind Mario’s treatment of Yoshi, but there are none that prepared us for the company’s latest revelation. In a special developer video, Super Mario Odyssey producer Yoshiaki Koizumi revealed that the mushroom “hat” sitting on Toad’s head isn’t a hat at all — it’s part of the creature’s head. “So that, as it turns out, is actually Toad’s head,” Koizumi said when asked by fans. “I’m going to have to leave it to all of you to figure out exactly how that works out. Maybe there’s something inside.”

Let me choose my words carefully here because it is 2018 and I don’t want to offend a group of people with a blanket statement. Actually you know what? Fuck that. I am just going to come out and say it. Toad is and always has been a fucking weirdo. He has been a shitty character in the Mario games forever and an absolute dud the entire time. The fact his head is a giant mushroom is just the cherry on top of his weirdo sundae. Look at this dumb asshole.

Since when is dressing like that acceptable? Wearing a vest with no shirt and a giant diaper is no way to go through life unless you are some rich ass sheik that does whatever he wants. If you dress like that as a normal person and have the voice of a rat getting buttfucked, you will get your ass shoved in a locker every day of your life until you get buried 6 feet under. But not Toad because he got in on the ground level of the Mario franchise. And since the mushroom is technically a part of Toad’s body, you knowwwwwwww he says shit like “The fungi just arrived. It’s time to party!” when he shows up to the bar.

Fuck you Toad. And fuck all the people that used him in Mario Kart and enabled that little weirdo to stick around in the Mario franchises this long and cash those Nintendo checks because they liked his speed and handling. They are just as much a part of the problem as he is and a huge reason why the old Mario cartoon is no longer canon.

Again, fuck you Toad.

P.S. My favorite part of that video was them leading off with the “Why doesn’t Mario have a belly button?” question. Dude just produced once of the biggest games in years and he’s asked about a cartoon’s belly button.

Welcome to the internet, Mr. Koizumi. It is dark and full of terrors.