By All Accounts, The Women's March Was A Roaring Success

For the second year in a row, women celebrated the election of Trump by marching on the anniversary of his inauguration. In an amazing show of support for a president whom I thought they hated, women took to the streets with signs and chants aimed at reassuring Trump of their unwavering fealty. Take a look at some of these images:

Not sure what that has to do with Trump, but it’s a strangely humble message on a day when most women were celebrating their gender/private parts. I’ve never told a woman “my dick is your worst nightmare” because I respect women and want them to like my genitals, not fear them.

Ok, whoa. Turning your vagina into Ellis Island seems like a recipe for all SORTS of diseases. Nothing against refugees, but history tells us that refugees often require medical attention and should be thoroughly examined before countries allow them through the gates. It’s a matter of public safety.

First of all, it should be “If Hillary WERE president…” This sentence takes the subjunctive form because it’s contrary to fact. I understand that the subjunctive confuses a lot of non-writers. It’s definitely a tricky one, and this lady shouldn’t feel bad for getting it wrong. Lord knows, I used to struggle with this myself! I’m sure that by the time she’s penning her sign for the 2019 women’s march, she’ll get it right.**

By far the least patriotic sign of the day. I cannot believe they let her get away with this. Calling America a sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, Islamophobic, nationalist shithole is a major insult to our beloved country. For shame! Something tells me she’s not from these parts. Perhaps she should schedule a visit with old Ellis-Island-vaginer from above. I bet these two would hit it off.

Love this one. Huge HP fan. Sure, Harry saved everyone’s lives like a billion times. So did Neville Longbottom. But that’s beside the point. Here’s to Hermione!

And the side-show?

Allegedly, Scarlett Johansson used to date James Franco. During their relationship, she gave him her pin, and I guess things went south because she wants it back now. I love hearing stories of celebrity couples engaging in old-fashioned romance rituals. Back in the 1920s, high school guys would give their girl their “pin,” usually a class ring or badge of some sort. It was a way of showing that they were “going steady.” Sounds like ScarJo flipped the script and gave Franco her pin, probably as a progressive feminist move. And now she wants it back. Bummer.

**Mansplaining: explain (something) to someone, typically a woman, in a manner regarded as condescending or patronizing.