Workplace Harassment: Stoolie Required To Produce No Odor When Using The Bathroom At Work

Hate to see this. Just hate to see it. I hate seeing when my pals are out here grinding every day at the leasing office and then fucking Janet (I bet her name is Janet) fires off this email because Rick and Stacy don’t wanna live in an apartment building where people and I quote “poop.”

Just unbelievable. Grow up, Rick and Stacy. Yeah. Doug fucking shit in the leasing office on Tuesday of last week. It was the day after Christmas and he thought that nobody would be in that day. So sue him. You ever tried to replace lightbulbs with a belly full of yesterday’s ham? The salt causes cramps! Cramps are, lest we forget, the leading cause of drowning!

Instead of telling Rick and Stacy to, in the words of Eminem, “hold their nose cause here comes the brown water,” you reprimand Doug by corporate shaming him to the entire staff? Everyone knows there was only one guest visit over the holiday break. It was Rick and Stacy. Everyone also knows that only the most junior staffer had to be there with the leasing agent in case there was a problem. That was Doug. You know what else everyone knows? That Janet can be a real cotton headed ninny muggins.

Yeah. I said it. Fuck Janet.