Baron Davis And Laura Dern Is The Most Nonsensical Relationship I've Ever Witnessed

Live look at me when I first saw these pictures…

It’s been a pretty wild year. Lots of things, things I never thought would happen in a million lifetimes, happened. Whenever you turned on the news your reaction was always, “Wait… hold on… what?” It was the same every time you open your twitter and your Instagram. Shock was everywhere in 2017, from the inauguration of a reality TV star as the president of the United States in January to Kylie not being in the Kardashian Christmas picture, and everything in between.

But nothing, and I truly mean this, surprised me as much as these photos and the reports that they appear “very much in love” while on dates. This is legitimately shocking stuff, and as a fan of pop culture I must immediately know everything about it. Where do Baron Davis and Laura Dern first meet each other? What is Baron’s opening line to Laura Dern? Does Baron love Jurassic Park? Has he asked what Jeff Goldblum, Derns’ ex, is like in bed (I know you never ask your gf about exes but c’mon, if you fucked Goldblum I want to know everything. Guy’s the best.)? Did he ask if she ever stayed in Nic Cage’s ghost house in New Orleans when they dated (same thing as the last parenthetical)? What about Dern, is she a big basketball fan who hates the Dallas Mavericks? I mean WHAT do they talk about? I need to know everything.

And please, don’t take the “nonsensical” in the headline as a negative, it’s not. This relationship doesn’t make fuck all sense, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love the hell out of it. Good for these two. Kiss her good on New Years, Baron, kiss her real good and ring in 2018 the right way. For all of us.

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