Is It A Violation To Bench Guys In A Beer League Hockey Game?
This. This right here is exactly why hockey players are the greatest. It’s 11:15 on a Tuesday night. You have to wake up at 5:30 tomorrow morning to get ready for work since the boss man has been on your ass the last few weeks and needs you in the office at 7. But who needs sleep? You can sleep when you’re dead. Right now you’ve got a big time beer league tilt and winning this game is literally the only thing you have to look forward to in your week.
Which is why I’m fully on board with the idea of benching guys in a beer league game. Maybe I’m projecting a little here but you younger guys out there will quickly learn how much a beer league win means for your week. Makes everything that much better. You just paid rent, you just paid your student loans, combine that with the fact that you just finished paying league fees and now you can’t even look forward to the weekends anymore because you’re too poor to do anything with them. So when all you have is your 11:15 ice slot against one of the same 6 teams every week, you do whatever it takes to get that win. Even if that means stashing a few guys on the bench for the entire 3rd period. And now listen. Obviously this isn’t an easy decision to come to. Chances are you’re friends with everybody on your team. And the moment you tell Clarky that he’s taking a few shifts off, that friendship is immediately ruined. But Clarky can’t even get the puck out of your own zone. He’s a defensive liability out there and don’t even think about passing him the puck in the offensive zone because he shoots from wherever and the only place he seems to aim is the goalie’s chest. He’s killing you guys out there. It gets to the point where you’d rather go out there 5v4 than play 5v5 with Clarky on the ice. And somehow this son of a bitch always manages to be on the door and get the next first shift on every powerplay. Then he goes out there and eats the whole 2 minutes without doing a damn thing. So as soon as you realize the rewards of benching Clarky outweigh the risks of ruining your friendship, you keep him on the bench and start double shifting guys.
Like I said. This isn’t just a game to you anymore. You realize that it’s beer league. You realize that you’re past your prime and there might be one fan in the stands who had to drive one of the other team’s player to the game because he’s on his 3rd DUI. But it’s more than just a game. So as long as you’re fine with ruining some friendships along the way, there’s nothing wrong with benching guys in beer league. And if you’re one of the guys who ends up getting benched, then you only have 2 options. Either A) get better, or B) start bringing more beer for the locker room. Nobody is going to bench the guy who brings the beers for the boys. That’s auto ice time.
P.S. – According to a beauty on the other team that wasn’t benching guys, this game ended up being a tie. So yeah, I’d be pretty fucking furious if I got benched in an 11:15 game only to end up with a tie.
h/t Sean
P.S. – In case you missed it, here’s the 1st season of Beer League Heroes. Many people say it was the greatest video series the internet has ever seen.