Christian Bale Looks RIDICULOUS After Letting Himself Go To Play Dick Cheney

This fucking guy loves weight-fluctuation, huh? I imagine contract negotiations with Christian Bale go the same way Java World’s settlement went with Kramer. Bale and his agent walk in, grab a nice seat, then some studio exec says, “For this role, which will demand an incredible body transformation from you, we’re offering –” then Bale just pops up and screams, “I’M IN,” while his agent hangs his head in disappointment again.

The guy looked like a UFC fighter for American Psycho, ate a can of tuna and an apple per day to look emaciated for The Machinist, became a bodybuilder for Batman Begins, got in crackhead shape for The Fighter, went fat as shit for American Hustle, back to ripped for Exodus, and now he’s a fat fuck again. His metabolism must be as confused as Michael Scott’s vas deferens.

They say that money doesn’t buy happiness and I think that’s particularly true with Christian Bale. He doesn’t care about silver and gold, all he wants to do is binge and gorge like some sick masochist.