DiGiorno Pizza Is Subtweeting Papa John's To Death On Twitter

*News anchor voice*
Some say Pizza is love. But today on Twitter, Pizza is murder.

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*Idiot blogger voice*
Let this be a lesson to all potential NFL advertisers out there. If you start running your mouth about how business is hurting, your competitors will smell blood in the water and go for your neck on Twitter. Gone are the days where corporate Twitter accounts were just there to tweet boring press releases, respond to customers’ long-winded complaints, and occasionally mistakenly tweet something embarrassing meant to go from their personal account.

But after Wendy’s became the queen of handing out Twitter bodybags (I guess Nate is currently the king?), you knew other companies were going to follow their lead. The biggest shocker is that the barbarians lining up at the gates weren’t even Domino’s or Pizza Hut. It was a frozen pizza company. It doesn’t matter if you like Papa John’s for some ungodly reason or hate DiGiorno. DiGiorno is now better than Papa John’s because they came out spitting hot fire and didn’t even have to put the departed’s name on their lips. DiGiorno is even using Papa John’s slogan against him!

That’s like using The Stunner on Stone Cold Steve Austin. As disrespectful as it gets. It’s not delivery, it’s Papa John in a casket and he has nobody but himself to blame for it. Well I guess he could just blame the NFL again, but that’s besides the point. I can’t wait to hear Peyton Manning’s eulogy at the funeral.

P.S. Ellios only having 3,000 followers and no blue checkmark was depressing as fuck to see. I know Totino’s is eating everybody in the frozen section’s lunch with their delightful pizza rolls (P.S. I’d love to go to my first Super Bowl this year). But damn, I didn’t realize the once king of frozen pizzas was in that much trouble. They need a Stranger Things bump more than anyone during Season 3.