Despite His Many Talents, Rob Gronkowski Is Not A Good Rapper

I caught this TV progrum the other night that highlighted a personal hobby of mine, rap battling. To my shock and delight, another hobby of mine, athletics, was featured within the very same progrum. Further connecting the dots, an NFL player of Boston’s professional team was featured on the show. This fact piqued my interest because the company for which I work actually was originally based out of the city of Boston, so the readership tends to be more keen on stories that feature athletics within Boston. After I took all these factors into account, with the added pressure of Nate the enforcer breathing down my neck, I figured that I would pen a blog about the said constellation of topics.

And now for some analysis in the form of a joke:

Through my time as a rap hobbyist I have picked up some tendencies that rap artists carry in their work. For example, one of them is riding the beat. Having rhythm. Rapping along with a percussive instrumental. Most everyone does it. What I noticed about Rob Gronkowski’s performance was the fact that he chose to not put his raps to a rhythm (excuse the split infinitive). While his opponent chose to rap along with the meter of the oral-instrumentalist, our Boston hero chose to forgo the accompaniment altogether. Peculiar. I’d say he was marching to the beat of his own drummer, but…

Lest this be construed as a negative blog, let it be posited that Gronkowski is, in fact, talented at things. Many things.

Among them, catching the touchdowns.

Having internet graphics made about him.

Striking dance moves:

Drinking on beers:

So let it be said; there are activities at which Rob Gronkowski is good. Possibly, rap is not at which he is best. A suggestion I would make to the higher ups at the Very Funny network of TBS? Perhaps have someone coach these athletes in their raps. Or, better yet, assist them in the writing of the materials. Rob Gronkowski, frankly, has better things to be doing than writing and mastering the craft of rap, namely strength training and philanthropy works.

Another rap battle from that progrum, about which I earlier spoke.