Huge W For Philly: We Got Them Spicy Chick-n-Strips From Chick-Fil-A, Bitches
So I woke up this morning feeling pretty down about the last 48 hours of Philly sports. Just some real depressing, miserable shit. But somehow, some way, the universe always finds a way to even things out. And just when I needed good news the most, I saw this tweet come across my timeline.
I had heard rumblings about CFA testing out some spicy strips, but had no idea that Philly was one of the only 3 locations where they were being tested out. Think about that. Think about how many cities there are in America, and Philly is so important to Chick-Fil-A that they just had to test the new product here. That’s what we in the biz like to call the Markelle Futlz Effect. So since it was around lunch time, I figured I’d take a stroll to my nearest Chick-Fil-A to give these bad boys a try.
When I got there, the line was wrapped around the corner. I quickly realized this wasn’t just some ordinary day at CFA. This was a goddamn event. It brought everybody out. It was a cavalcade of stars. A real who’s who, if you will. So I stood there patiently as one-by-one, other customers passed me by with giant smiles on their face from ear to ear as if they were a kid just seeing Santa Claus at the mall. And when it was finally my turn to get on Santa’s lap, boy was it worth the wait.
BOOM! Just like that, I had my hands on greatness. I was thinking about possibly bringing them back home so I could do a real review with them but I wouldn’t be able to wait that long. Plus, I didn’t want them to get tainted by the filth that is the Philadelphia subway system. So one bite, everybody knows the rules.
They’re an automatic 10. They taste exactly like the Spicy Chicken sandwich. Only they’re better. And I know what you’re thinking right now. “Hey Jordie. How can you make something better if it’s already perfect?” Well because as great as the spicy chicken sandwich is, I’ll always contend that chicken tenders are better than chicken patties. Because every bite has more to it. You get somewhere around the middle of a chicken patty and you’re setting yourself up for a let down bite. With a chicken tender? Each bite is as good as the last. So you get the same exact taste from the spicy chicken sandwich AND there’s never any let down bites. The worst bite was the last one just because I knew it was over.
***Oh and if you’d like to compliment my mustache, please feel free to make a donation to the HEADstrong Foundation for their #LaxStacheMadness. All proceeds go directly toward providing complimentary lodging and support for patients and families pursuing comprehensive cancer treatment and clinical trials in the Philadelphia area. Click Here To Donate***