Remembering Hugh Hefner With This Story About How He Would Take Viagra, Lay On His Back, And Have The Playboy Bunnies Take Turns Having Sex With Him For A Minute Each While His Main Girlfriend Wiped His Penis Off In Between

HUFFPO – Hugh Hefner opened up about his sex life in New York Times magazine’s ‘Questions For’ column over the weekend.

When asked whether he takes “a lot” of Viagra, Hef said, “I don’t take a lot, but I take it when it’s called for.”

“I make love a couple of times a week, and I take the Viagra when I’m going to be making love,” he continued. “I would say at 84 it helps. It’s God’s little helper.”

In this time of remembrance for the man, the myth, the legend Hugh Hefner, it’s important to get a full retrospective on his life.  He was an icon.  A publisher.  An editor in chief.  A businessman.  A playboy.  A bon vivant.  A champion for gay rights.  A champion for free speech.

And he fucccckkkkkkkked.

In her new memoir Kendra Wilkinson chronicles her first time with Hef, in a Playboy mansion orgy:

“One of the girls asked me if I wanted to go upstairs to Hef’s room… It seemed like every other girl was going, and if I didn’t it would be weird. One by one, each girl hopped on Hef and had sex with him… for about a minute. I studied their every move. Then it was my turn… it was very weird. I wasn’t thinking about how much older Hef was—all the body parts worked the same. I wanted to be there.”

…And for a full, inside (alleged) look…nothing will ever top this recounting from ex-Bunny Jill Spaulding:

“Hef just lies there with his Viagra erection. It’s just a fake erection, and each girl gets on top of him for two minutes while the girls in the background try to keep him excited. They’ll yell things like, ‘fuck her daddy, fuckk her daddaddy!’ There’s a lot of cheerleader going on! The main girlfriend wipes off his [uncondomed] penis. She’s the girl who actually shares the bed with him. She sleeps there all night. She’s around 22 years old. He uses all the same girls. She’s been there for three years now… When it first gets started his main girlfriend gives him [oral sex], then she has sex with him. She’s the first to go because that’s the safest for her. No protection and no testing. He doesn’t care.”

Hugh Hefner popping a little blue pill, lying on his back, while a line of Playboy Bunnies stretched throughout the mansion like it’s fucking Splash Mountain wait for their turn to take 1 to 2 minutes riding him until it’s time to hop off and go back to the pool while his main girlfriend sits there waiting patiently with a clean silk rag in her hand to wipe the penis off in between sessions.   Incredible.   “The Royal Penis is clean your highness.”   What a visual.

Actually saying that all out loud right now I’m kind of astonished there isn’t like, more of a feminist backlash about this guy.  Fucking Hef, such a pro he even avoided all of that drama.