A Gay Guy Invented The High Five And I'm The Last Person On Earth To Know About It
Do people know about this? Glenn Burke, a certified homosexual invented the high-five? The universal symbol of celebration and greeting? I realize I’m a year little late to this story but I was shocked. The high-five is nearly nonexistent within the gay community. We traded it in for awkward hugs and cheek kisses. It’s terrible. If I had only known it was ours to begin with I’d be high-fiving every homo in sight. I imagine the initial reaction would be similar to Ryan Seacrest high-fiving a blind person
Straight people owe a lot to Glenn. Without him they’d still be gifting each other congratulatory slaps on the ass. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. On the bright side, every time someone slaps hands they’re essentially slapping a seal of approval on gays everywhere.
The high-five is by far the gay community’s most popular natural invention. And I use the word “natural” because we also invented Beyonce and Lady Gaga, but they were made in a lab. Go anywhere in the world and you can see people high-fiving. Crazy to think that a gay guy unintentionally invented the straightest form of expression known to man. It’s even crazier to think that breeders appropriated it from us. Add it to the list I guess, right along with rainbows and brunch. Shame on you straight people.