Grading the Newest Sex Scandal Teacher

South Dakota – A former special education teacher pleaded guilty Tuesday to raping an underage student she mentored while working at a South Dakota school.

Kari Boll … who is married, was a special education teacher at West Central High School for three years before her sexual relationship with the student was revealed. Boll told investigators she and the student waited until he was 16 years old – the age of consent in the state – before beginning their sexual relationship.

However, she later admitted the two had sex before the boy turned 16. Boll and the student allegedly had sex more than 20 times during the summer of 2016 – including between 10 and 15 times before he turned 16.

Boll also said the student told her he had feelings for her, court documents stated. She told police the relationship started when the student worked for her on her Hartford farm.

Maybe it’s just me, but I feel like there’s something sort of romantic about this story. Something really Buttercup and Westley about Kari Boll and her student. A humble kid, working as her farmhand. They start to develop feelings for each other. She begins to notice that when he says “As you wish” it’s like he’d said “I love you.” But their love is forbidden so she doesn’t act on it. He professes his feelings. She tries to hold out, but it’s no use because the emotions are too strong. Until one day, she takes him out back and let’s him pork her standing up behind the chicken coop. It’s like something out of a fairy tale.

The Grades:
Looks: Remember Picture Day? How the barbershops and hairdressers are packed for days leading up to it because everybody wants to look their absolute best? Well, this was Kari Boll’s Picture Day. This is her at her best. With a black-toothed smile and bedhead that looks like she just crawled out of the rack after a weekend of banging a teenager. If you gave her an unlimited budget for a Pretty Woman-style makeover, a miracle worker might get her up to a C. Might. As it is, she’s a
Grade: D+

Moral Compass/Bad Judgment: There’s not much not to love. We’ve got her admission under oath. The fact she boned him practically every other day for an entire summer. The fact she tried to hold off until he was 16 because that would make it all OK but she couldn’t resist. She’s married. I’ll ignore that Special Ed stuff and just assume we’re talking about a lad who needs some extra help learning and he’s not actually disabled. Because that is fraught with peril and I don’t want it to ruin an otherwise beautiful story.
Grade: B+

Intangibles: I’ve got to hand it to her. That courtroom photo with those crazy eyes and unrepentant smile is electric. Like Prison Stripes are the New Black or something. It’s just a shame they’re not attached to a better SST.
Grade: B-

Overall: C-. Keep trying, Flyover Country. We know you can do better.

Do you have someone you want to see graded? Tweet her to me @jerrythornton1 or email me at jerry@barstoolsports.com. Your service to the betterment of mankind will be its own reward.