Wanna See A Dead Dude's Dingaling? It Could Cost You Your Job

DENVER – Five nurses at Denver Health Medical Center were suspended for three weeks after they inappropriately viewed a deceased patient’s body and talked about it, a hospital spokesman confirmed to Denver7 Investigates Tuesday.

A tip to Denver7 said the nurses disciplined admired the size of the deceased patient’s genitals and at one point opened a body bag to view parts of the body. A hospital spokesman confirmed details of the incident.

A different nurse heard one of the disciplined nurses make a comment in May that the nurse felt was inappropriate and reported it to hospital staff, Denver Health Medical Center spokesman Josh Rasmussen said.

“Multiple staff members viewed the victim while he was incapacitated, including after he was deceased,” a Denver Police report says. “The complainant, Risk Management for Denver Health, made a mandatory report.”

I dont get what the big deal is, folks. It’s a dead dick. I think when you die, you give up all rights to the viewing of your penis as long as there’s no pictures involved. It gets a little dicey if there’s pictures involved.

I dont wanna be scrolling through twitter and see my dad’s penis pop up on the timeline. I mean, for Christ sake. The man just died hypothetically. My beloved father’s penis shouldn’t be on display like a little league participation trophy.

“Chaps, what if it’s just the cock? No face or anything.”

I dunno. There could be identifying marks on the penis still.

“No no. That’s all blurred out.”

I said I don’t know god damn it. Let me grieve! I’m not ready to commit. Let’s stick to the matter at hand. These hospital staff members should not have been fired. If I know there’s a crazy huge penis floating around, I look. Sorry if this offends but it’s true. Like when the Draymond or Tiger Woods pictures came out, I was a looky-loo. Hard not to be.

In my opinion, you look, zip it up, and keep your comments to yourself. If you do that, you’re fine. That being said, you certainly shouldn’t be taking Betsy Business’ blood pressure and anal core temp in processing all the while discussing Dead Dick Dennis’ dynamite dick while he’s stone cold frozen in the morgue. If they did that, they need to be fired. No question about it. Kudos to the Denver Medical Center for doing the right thing. Disgusting.

By the way, you take the anal temp because it’s the most accurate. Simple as that. The rectum is often the centerpiece of a medical diagnosis.