A Planet Earth Producer Went NUTS In A Road Rage Video, But Comes Off As The Silliest Goose Because He's British

NY Post- A former TV producer behind BBC naturalist Sir David Attenborough’s wildlife documentaries went completely off the rails on a family during a road-rage incident, claiming he wanted one of them “dead,” shocking cellphone video shows.

“Planet Earth” producer Fergus Beeley was caught on camera Saturday as he launched the explosive outburst against a family, which included an 11-year-old boy, in a parking lot in Hampshire, England.

According to a woman speaking in the video, Beeley claimed he was an off-duty police officer and later on the woman says to Beeley: “You said you wanted us dead!”

“I do want you dead! In fact, I want you dead right now!” Beeley fires back.

While grabbing Gale by the arms and pushing him against the car, Beeley shouts: “You’re under a citizen arrest! Put your hands on the car … and get ready to die!”

Hysterical. The most quintessentially British scene you’ll see this month. Such a polite country that even when this guy is losing his goddamn mind, everyone is pretty well-behaved. He clearly has no idea how to insult people because he’s never done it before. Totally lost, out of his element, searching for words he heard ten years ago during an episode of The Wire.

“You deserve it, you old slut. You big slut.”

Swing and a miss. You can hear him struggling, wants to call her a “foppish old hag” but knows he needs more ooomph. So what does he do? Starts putting everyone under citizen’s arrest.

Excuse me, Mr. Fergus Beeley? (lol) That’s not a real thing. There are no headquarters for the citizen’s police department; reinforcements are not on their way. The only way you can make a citizen’s arrest is if you beat somebody up and then handcuff them yourself. Just telling someone they have to submit to your arbitrary, made-up nonsense is not going to work.

Or is it?

This guy seemed to be completely sold on the fact that he was actually under arrest. And speaking of this guy, what the fuck was his deal? The most useless person I’ve ever seen in my life. Brain on another planet. Some maniac is calling every woman in his car “old slut”; meanwhile, Simon here is asking for his girl’s iPhone password so he can re-route Waze to avoid construction!

When the navigation said “turn left,” interrupting the false police officer claim, I lost it. Complete and utter lunacy.

“Put your hands on the car, you’re under citizen’s arrest, and get ready to die!” Is that like the miranda rights for a citizen’s arrest? You have the right to remain silent and prepare to die. Sheesh. Lord help us if any of these officers of the law end up in America. Police brutality lawsuits as far as the eye can see.

Probably my favorite part is when he starts dishing out the arrests to everybody like he’s Oprah telling everyone they get a new computer. You get a citizen’s arrest! And YOU get a citizen’s arrest! And even you, little 11-year-old boy, are under citizen’s arrest! This of course causes the boy’s mother to flip out, which only makes this scene that much weirder. Like hey lady… are you aware that NOTHING will happen to your son? Why on earth would that make you upset?

So many amazing quotes that I can’t cover them all. Honorable mentions:

“Why are you the only one shouting here?”

“Because he’s an aggressive man!”

And lastly:

“I’m not going to quieten down because you’re under citizen’s arrest!”