I Think David Ortiz Makes More In Retirement Ads Than He Did In Baseball Salary

This is something I’ve noticed about Papi’s twitter feed for a while now, that it’s almost exclusively ads, but today it got out of hand and I gotta bring this to light. How much fucking money is this dude making in retirement? I’m not even mad, it’s impressive, but this dude is taking checks from EVERYBODY. In just the last month we’ve got PowerHandz (whatever that is), John Hancock, Uber, JetBlue, 47 Brand, BigTimeBats, Coca Cola, and MasterCard. That’s OUTRAGEOUS. It’s basically every kind of brand that exists in the world. You want batting gloves, retirement funds, a ride, a plane ticket, clothes, a bat, a soda, or a credit card? David Ortiz has you covered. Papi made 16 million in salary last year and I’m legitimately convinced he must be making more on ad deals in 2017. You think David is coming back? He doesn’t have feet and he makes more sitting on a beach than he does in a shitty Fenway locker room. He gone.