Kristaps Porzingis Just Unleashed The Sexiest Commercial These Eyes Have Ever Seen

Live look at your pants after watching that commercial.

I know we don’t usually do free ads here on Barstool, but I think we can make an exception for something that is closer to art than it is a commercial. The Carl’s Jr. burger commercials and whatever nonsense Go Daddy used to peddle back in the day ain’t got shit on Godzingis. I don’t know what the fuck the Visa X card is, but I need it immediately. Credit card machines in the U.S. will probably blow up if you try to use that card here, but I don’t give a damn. That commercial is so beautiful it makes me want to cry, especially with the timeless classic Day Bow Bow playing in the background.

And yeah it kinda concerns me that my boy KP got weirdly European in the commercial after he arrived to the Knicks without an accent yet with dreams of fucking an R&B chick (Rihanna). But I am just chalking it up to this commercial being filmed while he was in a rebellious phase because Phil Jackson was using KP’s good name as toilet paper because Porzingis skipped a fucking exit meeting. Now that Phil is gone, Kristaps can go back to being as New York as a well-placed “Fuck outta here”.