Barstool’s Confederations Cup Preview – The “Now The Riff Raff-less Tourney Begins” Edition

Sam’s Soccer Safe Space For Stoolies

Hi haters,

Time for a quick hitter now that the riff-raff has been dispensed with and the four best teams are set to square off in the Confederations Cup semi-finals. And, for those of you who don’t care about that tournament but are itching to hear my thoughts on the latest transfer rumors, I’m including a special section at the bottom of this blog with everything you need to know about who might be headed where this summer.

Now without further ado, let’s get to the world’s most efficient preview…

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CONFEDERATIONS CUP

So here’s how we got here today:

And these are the games on deck today and tomorrow:

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MIDWEEK PICKS

Chile [+195]
Portugal [+130]
Draw [+195]

Chile looked a little like the team I picked to win it all through the first two games, but then essentially shit the bed against Australia with an atrocious performance. Portugal has been consistently good not great (ie, don’t let that four-goal outburst against the Caffeine Free Australians fool you).

Should be a cagey affair with most of Portugal’s offense inevitably running through Ronny by way of one of either Silva, Silva or Silva. I’m going with Chile though, which will have to play better than they have for most of the tournament but have enough depth and experience so I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt on being able to turn it on when needed – especially since game feels like way more of a tossup than bookies expect, so the odds are pretty tasty.

Chile to win 2-1.

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Mexico [+XXX]
Germany [+XXX]
Draw [+XXX]

Too many injury unknowns at the moment… update coming tomorrow.

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COMPREHENSIVE THOUGHTS ON TRANSFER RUMORS

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See! What’d I say? Short and not particularly sweet just like your sex organ. Condolences in advance to FC Cincinnati for the whupping you’re about to receive from the Fire in tonight’s Open Cup game. Check y’all manana.


Holler,
Samuel Army

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