Knicks Lose Tiebreaker To T'Wolves For 6th Spot In Lottery Drawing Because Of Course They Did
NO KIKI NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! NOT YOU!!!!!!
Well that was the most obvious thing to ever happen, huh? I thought the NBA gods would pull the long con on Knicks fans by letting the Knicks win the lottery only for them to fall one spot short of an impact player when the real lottery comes in May or they draft the big bust come June. A really healthy way to go about being a fan, right?
Good thing we won that meaningless last game of the season against the Sixers too to ensure that we could play bingo with our team’s future instead of simply losing and locking up the 6th worst record.
Winning that game was about as bad of an idea as knocking up a stripper when you are married with children.
At least it’s not like one spot in the draft can fuck up a franchise’s future or anything.
JK, I know the Knicks never had a chance for Steph, would have ruined his body by never truly fixing his ankle injuries and the shadow of James Dolan casting a constant black cloud over his head. But everyone in New York thought he was coming here after he didn’t work out for the Warriors and they already had Monta Ellis. At least NBA fans can enjoy Steph. That’s the Knicks gift to basketball. Not getting their stink on one of the most entertaining players in years.
Unfortunately I don’t think we will have any frozen ping pong balls to ensure us a Top 2 pick. The dream of Lavar Ball in New York may have died today. And because of that, I am going to pick my daughter up from daycare and tell her it was me that hid the eggs in the backyard on Sunday, not some magical bunny. You know why? Because misery loves company. This is on YOUR head, Zen Master!
Now scream it with me from the mountaintops!
FUCK THIS FRANCHISE!!!!!!!!
*Takes a deep breath*
See you guys in May when I convince myself we can win the lottery. Send me out there to rep the team, Jimmy. You gutless, tasteless, dickless windbag maggot!