This Tinder Chick Has A Bio About Her College Essay And Honestly It's Shocking It Didn't Get Her Into Harvard

Just a few days after it came out that a kid got into Stanford for writing #BlackLivesMatter on an essay 100 times, I don’t mind this girl’s approach. Send it as part of an application instead of an SAT and she’d be golden since she’s basically combining the white guilt of the other essay with the typical approach of writing about a passion of hers and how it changed her life. It just so happens that she’s not experiencing her lifechanging moments one oversized eggplant emoji at a time. It’s so inclusive, so tolerant, so passionate about social change that even if she weren’t joking I’m positive that some college out there might take her. It might be a fictional college that’s part of the Blacked.com network, but somewhere that she can get a cap and gown for sure. (via MA)

And heyyyyyyy it’s another week of the internet’s most beloved and reviled Tinder roundup. As is our tradition, we did another episode of Swipe Drunk Love last night talking all about slump busters and you should check it out:

The Soundcloud is here too. In this episode we got some drunk girl callers, talked about how to actually get a slump buster and other ways to turn your luck around with dating/hooking up, and Alyssa put her foot in her mouth BAD (sadly not literally for any fetish dudes out there). The shows get better each week and there’s some helpful info here, check it out.

Thanks as always to the folks who sent screenshots in, follow me on Twitter or Instagram to DM in yours, and now the blog:

(via CC)

Make sure to follow the Swipe Drunk Love Instagram for bonus Tinder blog comment every single DAY!

Is this the famous Faryn under a pseudonym or a fake? Either way one thing’s for sure: I’m furiously masturbating to the idea regardless (via AY)

A dick Seamless would be awful if we’re assuming it’s like comparing food in pictures to food when it gets delivered (via JB)

Cocky as fuck but I won’t hate it (via WCJ)

I have to imagine every single text she gets is still a joke about her name (via S)

She’s private but I’m in and I will in fact confirm that this Salma Hayek bodied girl is the official social media follow of the week (via NJ)

In fairness that does seem like a well marinated baby (via BS)

I’m very in on this Jewmaican combo if we’re being honest. Also nice to get whatever Jewface dating app this is on here, all about app diversity and girl diversity here (via DG)

The nerve of this girl testing the limits of the Tinder free market (via TB)

It seems like I personally could kill two birds with one stone here, another livestream win and proving how not gay I am. Let’s discuss (via JR)

Honestly this is a pretty fire little person bio but I could have used maybe a Keebler joke mixed in with the climbing a tree thing. A- (via CF)

When naming your child, consider a hyphen or a space perhaps (via ND)

I consulted with an expert:

She’s probably a catfish (via DH)

Definitely pretty enough where I’d be curious, maybe on a day where got less of a pump going (via C)

Perhaps a woman after many of your hearts (via AC)

(via KR)

Minor league cheerleading, big league Would (via MD)

(via TP)

A whale cock for a blow hole seems like a fair deal (via CC)

You may judge but those bangs are the hottest cuck hairstyle of 2017. Well…second hottest

(via S)

And onto the hot and NSFWish ones…

A #SpagsPromise and a funny bio is like winning a moderately sized jackpot on a slot machine (via DM)

Both of them could represent the shit out of me (via D)

She’s hot but I don’t think she gets how names work (via CP)

A #SpagsPromise with an empty social calendar? not on my watch amigo (via RC)

Put your best foot/tits forward, that’s what experts always say (via CVA)

Somehow this is even more aggressive than those chicks who took photos of them fake fucking the Ronald McDonald statues (via C)

Not the worst deal ever (via 2T)

Lost me at “alpha males” but won me back at being able to back it up, speaking to my soul with that (via JP)

Save the heartbreak and swipe left now (via SB)

I didn’t know UConn made thicc asses like that since Khalid El-Amin (via RZ)

This #SpagsPromise is hot as hell but I’d still want to say “Elliott” to her like ET (via DC)

That is a lot of quality butt for just 19 (via SLC)

Big girls need #SpagsPromise love too (via T)

Jesus fucking Christ this girl can’t be real, right? Instagram me please (via C)

This is a faint #SpagsPromise who really pays attention (via DA)

Military girls doing military girl things, stay safe out there ladies (via BR)

And there we have it, another week in the books. Follow me on Twitter and Instagram to send in screenshots, thanks to the folks who sent things in, and happy swiping!

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