Cristiano Ronaldo Gets A Statue Unveiled Outside Airport Named After Him And It Looks Like Shit

ESPN FC – Cristiano Ronaldo was present on Wednesday as the Portuguese island of Madeira paid tribute to their most famous son. As part of the celebrations, the airport was renamed in Ronaldo’s honour as the Madeira International Airport officially became “Aeroporto Cristiano Ronaldo”. Portugal president Marcelo Rebelo de Sousa was also on hand to unveil a brand new bronze bust of Ronaldo that will stand on a plinth outside the airport.

Nailed it! Most definitely looks like the world’s biggest sex symbol! Absolutely a dead ringer for the guy that women literally cum in their dresses from just looking at him.

I dont know anything about bronze work. No clue how to sculpt shit. It pretty much seems like the most difficult thing in the world to take a big block stone or a giant hunk of metal and somehow make that look identical to a living human. But, I do know that Michelangelo could make flawless statues with like a hammer and a pipe so this dude who made this statue has no excuse. I guess Ronaldo does that sideways smile/smirk thing and his eyes are a pretty prominent feature, but the end product looked more like this dude from Hercules:

Its pretty baller to get an airport named after you and have people carving statues of you. Especially when you’re not even dead yet. But when they pull the curtain and unveil that piece of shit you gotta kinda be like “uhhh thanks but no thanks? Can you take this shit down?” One day, long after hes dead, some kid will look at that statue and be like “Oh, its Cristiano Ronaldo. Looks like he was really good at soccer and pretty fucking ugly.” Little Johnny or Suzie Q out there won’t know that he was the worlds biggest cocksman. They wont know that he flooded women’s basements with just a simple wink. They wont know that he ran point on many prostitute filled orgies. They’ll just think he was some goofy looking dude who apparently suffered a stroke of some sort.

For shame, statue maker. You did Cris dirty.