Does This Look Like The Face Of A Guy Who Got Arrested Then Had A Gun Fall Out Of His Butt?

Never a good time to have something unexpectedly fall out of your butt but as far as worst case scenarios go, this one has to be up there. Poop on a first date? Not ideal. A stolen gun at the police station? Significantly less ideal. One simply means you’re probably not gonna get laid, the other means you’re probably gonna get laid but you don’t necessarily want to.

But I’ll tell you what, it’s not every day you read a story about a gun falling from a butt and realize that the lede was buried. How ’bout the reaction from Sheriff Blakely at the end there? “It happens.” Sir, that rogue butt guns don’t just happen. That deserves a far more surprised reaction. In fact, it’s one of the most shocking things I can think of. A gun stored in a rectum it absolutely a stunning situation.

Sheriff Blakely is a little too cavalier about the whole thing and that leads me to believe he’s kind of a prick. You know the type, one of those “I’ve seen it all” fellows. Dead body? Seen it. Huge drug arrest? Another day at the office. A Jimenez .380 slipping out of an O-ring? These things happen.

NO THEY DON’T.

Traffic light violations and speeding tickets happen, Sheriff. Guns falling out of butts are to be talked about ad nauseam, as they’re incredible feats of the human body. I still can’t go an hour without mentioning the time I saw Belladonna put a baseball bat in her butt, give Jesse Roberts the same respect.

h.t Jacob