Unfortunately Scientists Are At It Again And Want To Add 102 Planets To Our Solar System

For years, astronomers, planetary scientists and other space researchers have fought about what to call the small, icy world at the edge of the solar system. Is it a planet, as scientists believed for nearly seven decades? Or must a planet be something bigger, something more dominant, as was decided by vote by the International Astronomical Union (IAU) in 2006?

The issue can bring conversations to a screeching halt, or turn them into shouting matches. “Sometimes it’s just easier not to bring it up,” Runyon says.
But Runyon is ignoring his own advice this week at the annual Lunar and Planetary Science Conference in Houston.

In a giant exhibition hall crowded with his colleagues, he’s attempting to reignite the debate about Pluto’s status with an audacious new definition for planet – one that includes not just Pluto, but several of its neighbours, objects in the asteroid belt, and a number of moons. By his count, 102 new planets could be added to our solar system under the new criteria.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it is with a heavy heart that I announce to you that scientists are at it again. I’m getting sick of this shit. Every few weeks these nerds are adding and taking away planets and continents. It doesn’t work like that, folks. It’s My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine pizzas or at the very least Make Venus Eat My Jello, Serena’s Up Next if you wanna be a Pluto hater, which I do not. Let me be clear about that. I do not want to be a Pluto-hater unlike these nerds.

Savage pronunciation of Uranus, too. “Your In Us?” No. It’s Your ANUS!

How in the fuck are kids supposed to memorize a 102-word mnemonic device? These are planets we are talking about, not dalmatians! That’s like memorizing the preamble to the constitution twice. No thanks.

You wanna talk about asteroids and all that other dumb shit? That’s fine. Talk about icy masses until you’re blue in the face. But don’t go changing the tried and true number of planets again just because you’re bored. We won’t stand for it any longer.