Now LaVar Ball Says That He Could Have Killed Michael Jordan In A One-On-One Game Back In The Day And His Sons Will Sign A Combined One Billion Dollar Shoe Deal

USA TODAY- If you thought LaVar Ball sounded outrageous when he said his son Lonzo, a freshman point guard at UCLA, is better than Steph Curry, well, you haven’t heard anything yet. “Back in my heyday, I would kill Michael Jordan one-on-one,’’ said Ball, the 49-year-old basketball dad who is 6-6 and 270 pounds and has a mouth to match his size. The mouth was motoring during a recent interview with USA TODAY Sports while LaVar Ball stood in the kitchen of his home here, about 35 miles east of Los Angeles and heaven only knows how far from reality.

“I would just back (Jordan) in and lift him off the ground and call a foul every time he fouls me when I do a jump hook to the right or the left,” Ball said. “He cannot stop me one-on-one. He better make every shot ’cause he can’t go around me. He’s not fast enough. And he can only make so many shots outside before I make every bucket under the rim.”

It’s worth noting that Ball played basketball for Washington State during the 1987-88 season and averaged 2.2 points, 2.3 rebounds a game before transferring to Cal-State Los Angeles in search of more playing time. Jordan, meanwhile, averaged 35 points and 5.5 rebounds for the Chicago Bulls that same season and is widely regarded as the greatest player in basketball history. “Now in a game of five-on-five, (Jordan) might do some damage, but I’m going to do some damage too,’’ Ball added.

I think we can all admit that this whole LaVar Ball nonsense has been ridiculous from the jump. It started with a dad that was just extremely proud and confident in his sons. But we finally hit the point where it became sad. Which is why I love it. LaVar Ball, a scrub in college, saying how he would work probably the greatest basketball player of all-time is when he officially turned into Skip Bayless with super-sperm. There are tons of people that have ridiculous opinions like LaVar and Skip, but they just don’t have the platform of microphones to tell them. And guys like that are fun to blog about until they claim they could beat up the sun in a fight or throw a football over those mountains. Then it just gets sad. Like every Skip Bayless tweet about Aaron Rodgers being trash. Or the likely upcoming quotes about how LaVar’s college coach or system is the reason he didn’t get buckets and make the NBA.

By the way, as a Knicks fan I am bitter that there are no reports of Michael Jordan going into the gym so he can get back into playing shape and murder LaVar Ball on the hardwood. MJ made a living out of feeling slighted and vanquishing his enemies mentally and physically the only time the Knicks were actually good in my lifetime. Looking back now, the ceiling was truly the roof for those 90s Knicks.

As for the billion dollar shoe quote:

During the interview, Ball also said he is prepared to package Lonzo and his two other sons — LiAngelo, a high school senior who has signed with UCLA, and LaMelo, a high school sophomore who has committed to UCLA — for a marketing deal with Nike, Adidas or Under Armour.

“A billion dollars, it has to be there,” Ball said. “That’s our number, a billion, straight out of the gate. And you don’t even have to give it to me all up front. Give us $100 mil over 10 years”

I don’t even think I can put that in the Top 5 most outrageous LaVar Ball quotes. I mean I doubt any of those three brands would give anything near that for the Balls unless LaMelo keeps draining halfcourt shots in college. But if some Chinese sneaker brand comes out of the blue with a shit ton of Yen and by some crazy chance come up with some ridiculous number, you better believe the Ball brothers will be rocking the Air Yaos while doing 3 beer and a Fanta commercials.