Russell Wilson And Ciara Take Handsdown The Weirdest Pregnancy Picture Ever

Russell Wilson is a weird fucking guy. He said God made him throw an interception at the goal line so he could overcome it, he said fizzy water cured concussions, he opted to NOT fuck Ciara during their courtship, he’s made a lot of bad decisions in his life. But this one? This decision right here? The one to agree to this photo? That’s handsdown the dumbest, weirdest thing he’s ever said or done.

Bro WHAT am I looking at here? It’s just a mass of naked body parts, twisted up like they were just in a car accident. Is Russ just down there pretending to eat her ass? “I’m gonna pose naked with your kid” is an odd response to Future sending Baby Future a Matt Ryan jersey.

I will tell you who I’m impressed with here, though, and that’s the photographer. This dude has to be the most convincing motherfucker of all time. Ten times out of ten, “My vision for this is just you guys all naked as fuck and wrapped around Ciara like vines in the Garden of Eden,” is going to get some strange looks and a, “Nah, we’ll just go do this at the mall,” response. Except this time. Dude had Russ and Ciara eating of the palm of his hand. Brilliant! Genius! Visionary! Baby Future, get naked and get over here! I don’t care if you’re too old to be naked, take that Matt Ryan jersey off and get your ass over here!

All I know is you’d never catch my quarterback doing something like this. Strictly weird poses with goats.