The Release Date For Indiana Jones V Has Been Set For July, 2019, When Harrison Ford Will Be A Spry 108-Years-Young

Disney – “Indiana Jones will return to the big screen on July 19, 2019, for a fifth epic adventure in the blockbuster series. Steven Spielberg, who directed all four previous films, will helm the as-yet-untitled project with star Harrison Ford reprising his iconic role. Franchise veterans Kathleen Kennedy and Frank Marshall will produce. “Indiana Jones is one of the greatest heroes in cinematic history, and we can’t wait to bring him back to the screen in 2019,” said Alan Horn, Chairman, The Walt Disney Studios. “It’s rare to have such a perfect combination of director, producers, actor and role, and we couldn’t be more excited to embark on this adventure with Harrison and Steven.”

OK, he’s only going to be 76, but that’s still ONLY 3 decades off the outrageous, unrealistic age I gave him in the headline. And I don’t give a hoot. Harrison Ford crushed it as Old Man Solo. He’s still (barely) flying planes. If there’s anyone that can somewhat pull off dominating the Nazis/Commies/Aliens, it’s Ford. I don’t care if Hollywood has taken all of my childhood nostalgia and has given it a Golden Shower infected with the Plague. Ghostbusters. Dumb & Dumber. They’ve even transformed Ricky “Wild Thing” Vaughn into some unintelligible creature riddled with HIV. I actually believe will tell myself Indiana Jones could be salvageable with a good script combined with production that’s not rushed. After George Lucas personally took a wet shit all over Indy 4 (Seriously, Frank Darabout had the perfect script for Indiana Jones And The City Of Gods and while Spielberg LOVED it, Lucas said it wasn’t shitty enough), some of us need to rinse the bad taste out of our mouths. So give us a half decent Indy 5 and call it quits. Or, most likely, give us a 5th average movie followed by 20 more because Hollywood is filled with soulless beings. I miss my childhood.

Weird, this piece of man mean known as Tom Selleck was tapped to been the original Indy. Sexual tension for some, mustache rides for all.