The KFC Fried Chicken Pizza (The Chizza) Looks Like A Fast Food Nightmare

This is honestly the last thing I needed to see right now. We are trying to start a grass roots revolution against a well-funded, entrenched dictator at Madison Square Garden and now I have KFC (the multinational company, not the consistently angry blogger) disrespecting fried chicken AND pizza in one fell swoop. What the fuck guys? I mean don’t get me wrong, nobody would love a carb-free world more than my fat ass. Whenever I try go on low carb diets, I have the itch of a fiend just dyring to consume those sweet complex carbs of a slice of pizza. The more complex the better. I want my carbs to basically be the equation that Matt Damon solves in Good Will Hunting. But this is not a suitable alternative. You know that sauce is grosser than the garbage water of New York City. The chicken probably looks closer to pencil shavings than meat from an animal. And I don’t know if that’s supposed to be ham from a Hawaiian pizza or bologna from some crazy Signapore recipe. But whatever it is, it shouldn’t be shown in an ad for pizza, a chizza, or anything edible to be honest. That’s poor food.

And if by some chance your dumbass bought a Chizza, this is the exact nightmare you deserve to be sentenced to eat.

Which is why I beg for KFC to keep the Chizza in Asia with weird shit like tentacle porn and never allow it to make its way to the U.S. of A.