Dogs Are Accidentally Eating Weed Edibles At An Alarmingly High Rate
NY Times- “Dog freaks out on pot” may sound like a scene from a stoner comedy or a viral video, but it happens surprisingly often. In New York City, veterinarians say, canine marijuana poisoning has become a daily occurrence.
The center saw a 144 percent increase in pet marijuana overdose calls from 2010 to 2015. New York generated more calls than any other state except California.
“I’ve had owners come in and they are stoned and they recognize some of the severity, but they just think it’s the funniest thing and they can’t stop laughing in the exam room,” said Brett Levitzke, medical director of the Veterinary Emergency and Referral Group in Brooklyn. “To the poor dog, it’s not very funny.”
As someone who has been in the clutches of a bad edible high, I sympathize with the pups. Everyone has a bad edible story. You eat half a brownie but don’t feel anything so you eat the other half. Twenty minutes later, you shit your pants and call your mom to say goodbye for good. That happened to me from one brownie, and I weigh 210 pounds. These 20-pound pooches are getting into full batches of brownies. They become non-responsive, wobbly, and notice extremely vague connections while pairing The Wizard of Oz with Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side of the Moon.” Terrifying stuff.
But get this: these instances can lead to the parents’ discovery that their kids are stoners.
“Sometimes the parents find out that the kid had some, and an interesting family dynamic develops,” Dr. Goldstein said. “I’ve had cases where the parents asked me to talk to the kid to explain the repercussions of the kid’s carelessness.”
Imagine being the vet in this scenario? A parent asks you to counsel their teenager about the perils of pot? How outrageous! They’re veterinarians, not psychologists. They chose to treat animals so they wouldn’t have to deal with this type of shit. What’s Dr. Doolittle going to say? “It’s a gateway drug… you’ll watch planet earth too much… you’ll realize how much you love animals… you’ll become a vet…”
And, in the least surprising news ever:
Cats, by the way, tend not to partake. The A.S.P.C.A. poison center says that dogs account for about 95 percent of pet marijuana poisonings.
Fucking cats. Just a bunch of sewn-up, holier-than-thou fucking squares. How pretentious is that move where they lick their paw and rub their face? You talk to a cat about weed, you know he’s gonna be the guy that says, “I tried it once, but it made me antisocial and I just wanted to be left alone.” Huh. Sounds like a major behavioral change.