Hey We Should Probably Stop Taking Selfies With Dolphins Cause They Keep Dying

NatGeo- It happened again: a baby dolphin in Argentina has been killed after being mobbed by tourists looking for the perfect selfie. According to La Capital, a newspaper in Argentina, on Sunday tourists dragged the dolphin from the ocean in San Bernardo, about 200 miles south of Buenos Aires. A blurry YouTube video shows a crowd of people standing and kneeling around the small creature, touching and petting it. “They let him die,” one observer quoted in La Capital told C5N, a TV news channel. “He was young and came to the shore. They could have returned him to the water—in fact, he was breathing. But everyone started taking photos and touching him. They said he was already dead.”

I’m on record saying many times that we should start randomly dropping bombs in the ocean to kill whatever monsters are down there. I still fully believe in that military effort. Drop bombs that go reallllllllll deep and blow up God’s sick and twisted laboratory down there. Not dolphins though. And I definetely don’t want dolphins killed like this. A bunch of dumb asses running up with their iPhones trying to get the perfect Instagram selfie? That’s just ridiculous. We’re not much better than that as a society but I’d say we’re hopefully a tad better. To be totally honest, we shouldn’t be shocked at all by people wanting dolphin selfies. Chicks LOVE dolphins. Love’em. Think back to elementary school when you went around the room, introduced yourself and said something people don’t know about you*. 99% of the girls in class would say they love dolphins. Even more recently, every girl on this season of The Bachelor listed dolphin as their favorite animal. So dolphins have had this coming for awhile. It should be no surprise that people are ripping them outta the ocean and snapping pics with them until they’re dead. This generation was destined for it. We should still stop doing it though.

*This was the worst part of school by far. Going around the room and trying to think of something interesting to say about yourself. You’d be talking to yourself as it got closer and closer to your turn like, “Should I say I like cookies? No Trent! That’s fucking stupid! You’re such a moron. Everybody likes cookies. Think of something else you idiot” and then you’d panic and say you like cookies like a big dumb idiot.