This Tinder Girl Might Have The Most Honest Profile On The Site And I Bet She Crushes On There
No pun intended in the headline, pun kinda intended in the headline. But at the same time I respect the hell out of anyone who takes a perceived negative like that and turns it into a positive. A lot of big girls will try to use the angle game to their advantage and not acknowledge that they’re working with a little extra. But this girl putting it up front, owning it, you know she’s a “cool” big girl. Probably can go drink for drink with you, eat as many wings, and might even tuck you in bed at night. If you’re going to have a big girl experience, that’s what you want out of it. No hidden surprises, no trying to wiggle out of a giant leg draped around you at 2AM like James Franco in 72 Hours, just know what to expect going in and get to the good stuff.
And BAM we’re smack dab in the middle of another 2017 Tinder roundup. You know what that means, that special time of the week where I tell you to follow Swipe Drunk Love, Barstool’s official dating podcast, and check out our latest episode about how to get what you want out of dating this year:
It’s me, Smitty, and Alyssa Rose along with that lovable miscreant Tex and Mikey Flash and we’re doing it every Thursday night on Barstool’s Facebook Live. Thanks to the folks who’ve supported the shit out of us there and made this a HUGE debut for us (as well as the people who’ve given constructive feedback), thanks to the rest of you guys who send shit in for this blog every single week, I really and truly appreciate it. Follow me on Twitter and DM in your screenshots and without further adieu on with the show:
(via JW)
It’s like someone wished an office porn into existence on a shooting star (via AB)
I assume she means this?
(via CF)
Can’t see her face, still worked for me (via CC)
Poor Greg Morales (via ML)
(via JA)
Bright side: You could also play wrestle with her like one of those old WWF pillow toys (via SS)
Will she put out or is she just viral marketing for mattresses? (via GG)
This all sounds as American as can be other than posing in front of a now German-owned copany (via BG)
Weird to have your baby as the most fuckable person in your Tinder pic (via ZD)
Do you think she knows she’s going to break up several marriages over the course of her career or nah? (via JS)
Karol with a K straight up executing every Carol with a C out there (via C)
(via CC)
This week’s reminder that trans chicks can be wild about Trump too (via NSC)
Why you look like a character in a Judy Blume book? (via CH)
Cheerleaders on Bumble orrrrr a giant turtle mascot on Bumble? Hmmm (via CD)
I hate poetry (via CC)
I’m not a hockey guy and barely knew whom Auston Matthews was yesterday but I am willing to change for Deanna (via GM)
Hooters girls: Then. Now. Forever. (via T)
I’m so tired of boring disappointing girls covered in blood showing up and trying to win my heart (via RB)
And onto the hot and NSFWish ones…
(via KB)
USF recruiting clearly knows what they’re doing despite the overall lack of success (via C)
I’m just looking too…at the bowl cut and dope titties and trying to weigh if they somehow balance each other out (via LC)
The #SpagsPromise: All the nips on all the dating apps, especially the nice weighty ones like these (via R)
A smoke yoga instructor dropping Rick and Morty references? What exactly is going on here? (via JM)
If she’s the blonde I would accept a OTPTF too (via RJ)
Pizza goes straight to the hips if you take more than one bite (via MP)
Well I’m a man of the people (via K)
This is actually a mandatory attire for an accounting major at ASU (via ZT)
To the gentleman with the dick brave enough to try this out: I’m praying for you (via BS)
Butts supporting butts, it’s a beautiful thing (via JB)
Ruthlessness is just what I look for in a #SpagsPromise (via HK)
It’s funny how you feel much more positive about a girl with a stupidly spelled version of a name when they’re gorgeous (via CT)
Strategic shadow placement will not hide this #SpagsPromise (via TB)
I’d put two in The Pink and…you know the rest (via JB)
Apathetic looking and big titties is the kind of #SpagsPromise I want in my DM inbox (via K)
A Southern girl drinking bourbon with a #SpagsPromise topping it off? Don’t mind if I do (via DJ)
Softball butts don’t get the love of volleyball butts but they deserve some applause too sometimes (via AL)
I am VERY in on this artistic nudity here (via L)
Having bombs like that and an Instagram that doesn’t work should be illegal (via Cri)
Nothing like a nice teen #SpagsPromise to close the week out. Gonna have to switch my reminder from earlier in the week to search “busty ebony porn” to “barely legal teen porn” (via COC)
And there it is, another week in the books! Thanks again to those who sent things in, make sure to follow me on Twitter and DM in your screenshots, listen to the latest Swipe Drunk Love, and happy swiping!