Can't An Old Lady In A Wheelchair Roll And Light A Blunt On The Subway Without Getting Chirped?

There are a few unwritten rules in this city. The first is if you see or smell someone smoking weed, you just let them go about their business. No reason to gawk or snitch or ask if it’s weed. Just shut the fuck up, let that person go to their happy place, and go about your day. The second rule is if someone is at the end of a subway car, you do not bother them in the least. I don’t care if they have 1,000 newspapers in a shopping cart, smell like death and shit, and/or are mainlining heroin. That little mini seat is a safe space for the broke and broken members of the city. Best case scenario you get a tongue lashing, worst case scenario you get touched/murdered by a bum. The third rule is just don’t speak on the subway in general unless spoken to first. And even then you probably shouldn’t even speak. Simply plop your headphones in and either turn up your music/podcast or just stare straight ahead in silence. Even if your phone is dead, you should still put your headphones in your ears, eyefuck the hell out of the subway window or wall, and wait for your train ride to be over.

And whatever you do, do NOT be this guy and break all the rules while mocking and threatening an old lady trying to smoke away her pain, cataracts, or the Giants loss.

Keep doing you, lady in the generic knockoff Giants hat that may or may not actually be a Giants fan. It was a tough one on Sunday but we’ll be back (not sure if it’ll be next year or in 4 years. The Giants are a tough team to pin down).