I Need Al Czervik's Yacht from "Caddyshack" and I Need it Five Minutes Ago

Jerry Thornton 1/12/2017 10:18 AM

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Yacht World – Year: 1979
Length: 60′
Located In: Annapolis, MD
Current Price: US$ 129,000

Here’s your chance to buy not only a great Sportfisherman and awesome Sea boat but a movie legend as well! Star of Caddy Shack, Big Dog was Rodney’s yacht in the movie and ran over everything in sight! “Move over Swanson, I’m driving!” Of course, being a Striker and built like a Tank, she can handle anything you throw at her! So if you are in the market for a fabulous rough water fishing boat with a bit of movie history thrown in, this is your boat!

Whoever said the two best days in a man’s life are the day he buys his boat and the day he sells it never owned Al Czervik’s yacht. I don’t consider myself a materialistic man, but my life will have lived in vain if Rodney’s boat is on the market and someone other than me ends up with it. This is why I left my crappy job at a Massachusetts courthouse. This is why I left WEEI to snap necks and cash Chernin checks.

For too long now I’ve been bumming rides on other people’s boats and making myself a great guest by incessantly quoting “Jaws.” “Step Brothers.” “Hunt for Red October.” “The Perfect Storm.” “Master & Commander” if I’m really feeling it. But throwing out “Caddyshack” lines while going full throttle in the boat that almost got head from Amelia Earhardt? Yelling “There’s my buddy!” while disregarding all safety laws? Destroying someone else’s boat and saying “You scratched my anchor”?  These are the things I was put on this Earth to do. My existence will be meaningless if just once before Jesus calls me home, I don’t get to christen a boat and say “It’s easy to grin when your ship has come in and you’ve got the stock market beat. But the man who’s worthwhile is the man who can smile, when his shorts are too tight in the seat.”

I’ll never own a Rolls Royce with a horn that plays “We’re in the Money” or a putter with a periscope on it. Please, universe, give me this. I want it more than I want to live.

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